Things are getting all turned around.

Even though next week is supposed to be midterms, I don't have anything.  It's all this week.  However, all things considered, it's not that bad.

The way my schedule works is I have something every week (for the most part) instead of a bunch of things in one week.

For example: a test in complex one week, a paper due in theatre the next, then a test in geometry in week three, then a test (complex) and midterm in-class essays the next week, which happens to be this week.  I'm currently working my way through the prompts my theatre prof will ask tomorrow, finally (finally!) reaping the rewards of being an obsessive note-taker and having a freakishly good memory for remembering what happens in books.  (And yet, oddly enough, it takes me a solid three weeks to learn one person's name.)

Even though I have the essays tomorrow and my complex test on Friday, I partially took yesterday off.  I think, though, that it may have something to do with the way my classes went.

I showed up to advanced geo at 8:00 yesterday morning to find colored paper everywhere.  We then proceeded to make butterfly bombs.  (You can see one in action here.  I don't yet have the guts to do it to mine.  The thing took a solid twenty minutes to put together.)

And as a side note: I was telling Tess about butterfly bombs, and she said her first thought upon hearing the term was some kind of shot with vodka and glitter.  Although I prefer what we did, I like that I have friends with excessively active imaginations.

I then went to subversive theatre, where we spent about 10%-20% of the class listening to Syd Barrett and Pink Floyd.  There was context, I swear.  Tom Stoppard kind of context, too.

Then I spent two hours trying to learn how to solve a Rubik's cube (my goal is to know technically how to do it by break)--hint, orientation is everything--and concluded the day by listening to Ken Burns speak.  No, he wasn't on tv, he was on stage in our auditorium.  He talked primarily about his WWII documentary and a bit about the Civil War, but his thesis (hey, I'm in essay mode here) was:

If history is about remembering, then war is about forgetting.

Listening to him was a lot, I imagine, what it would have been like to hear Lincoln speak.  He was highly eloquent and succinct, and he had almost a triple cadence instead of a double when he spoke, so his sentences rolled into each other.

And he said some pretty good stuff, too.

m.

And did I mention?  It's barely dropped below freezing in the past week and a half.  We even got up to 61 degrees last week.

Can someone please explain how this happened?

You know how you have a switchboard that runs your life?  Dials for "sleep," "stress," "caffeine level," you know, stuff like that.
Okay, fine then.  I have one, at least.

I'm not totally sure how the "homework," "busy," and "stress" buttons got turned up and the "run like you're going to be late, because you probably are" button got hit, but it's all happened.  Just this week, I've had a group project due, a presentation, and a paper, and that's not including all of my usual homework, choreographing a dance for Rugcutters (Coe's swing dance club) to perform at Formal, teaching said choreography, plus teaching basic swing, tutoring, or the occasional things I do for fun, like going to talks on Langton's Ants or row-reduced matrices (and the only reason I get to call them "fun" instead of "homework" is because I currently don't need the extra points for my math classes).

It occurs to me:
Classes:
-History of Western Architecture (okay, I'm auditing it because (1) I've already taken it, and (2) I need the information on Gothic and Renaissance cathedrals for my thesis)
-Complex Analysis (evil most evilistist class of evil ever invented)
-Advanced Geometry
-Fiction Workshop
-Honors: Subversive Theatre (fascinating.  It's all about theatre in Czechoslovakia and Yugoslavia communist rule)

It also occurs to me the only reason I'm writing this now is because I'm procrastinating on my paper for Subversive Theatre on Vaclav Havel's The Hotel.  Sadly, my thesis cannot be: "Havel lost his touch for this play, as all of the meaning comes from Pechar's singing the theme from Doctor Zhivago through the whole thing."

m.

Today was Black Friday,

and I did the unthinkable: for the first time in my life, I left the house and went somewhere with shops.

But, seeing as how Black Friday doesn't really exist here, it didn't matter this much.

I got the information for a photo place from Anni, one of the other Erasmus students, which was the first thing in a long while that's gone the way I had hoped it would. I then continued on to the IETT office to stand around for two hours, waiting to get my card.

Well, I didn't have to stand around for two hours.

The machine that dispenses numbers was out of order, or they'd stopped giving out numbers for the day...considering my Turkish hasn't progressed past the terms I need on a day-to-day basis, I still have issues with, well, most written things. (I'd also like to add: I arrived at 12:30, the office closes at 4, and when I was there on Wednesday, there were people getting numbers at 1:30, so it's not like I got there abnormally late or anything.)

So I still don't have my transportation card. I'll be back Monday morning at 8 for a third time. I'd love to have someone to rail at, but since red tape doesn't have a face, I'm not entirely who should be taking the brunt of my pissed-offed-ness.

I know I keep saying "I want to go home," but after all of this, I'm starting (starting) to think that I may go back to Iowa next semester.

I haven't decided anything yet, though.

What's really making it difficult is how easy it was. If all that had happened was applying for the program and then coming here, it would be totally different.

But that's not what happened.

Turkey was my third choice to study abroad, and it was the one that fit best and the one I was most excited about. And then there was Selin, and then more connections (thanks to my aunt who knows everyone my other aunt won't meet), and it all was so clear that Istanbul was where I was supposed to be. I haven't gotten many neon signs from God, but this was one of them.

That's what's making it so hard. I never really considered spending only a semester here, for several reasons, but now I'm staring at the mark five weeks out (classes end in five weeks, and then there are another two of finals, which I can finagle if I need to), willing it to come sooner than humanly possible.

So there's the part of me that really, really, really wants to go home. But there's another part of me that's tempted to stay for another semester. Part of the problem that I'm running into is that I don't really know any of the other students. Yes, I know that's my fault, but what I didn't realize at the time was that the only time I'd have to get to know them was during the parties (when everyone was drinking) or the barhopping. I think that if I stayed for another semester, I'd be far more willing to go out barhopping, knowing that it would pay off in the end.

And if I ever manage to fight my way through all of this red tape (I think I may buy some red ribbon when I get home and burn it), I won't have to deal with it again.

But, on the other hand again, I don't want to put up with the classes here any more than I have to. It was highly enjoyable to have easy classes for the first month or so, but now I'm just bored. Courses (with the exception of Graphic design) are interesting while my butt's in the seat, but after that, there isn't anything, really, to think about. The only homework I ever get is in Studio Design--a model a week--which I like, and the professors' comments are interesting and make me think, but the models only take me an evening to make, and I feel like I have to do all of the pushing myself. I try to come up with something interesting, that fits the criteria, and that I like, and with those three (rather simple) things, I have models that are near the top of the heap. Well, except for the time I completely missed the point of the assignment, but I'm pretty sure that was a translation problem. It's like almost no one in the class (they're all first years) is really interested in what's being said.

Normally, I'd have more patience with that kind of thing, but since Turkey works the same way most European schools do, which means all 50-ish of those students decided to study architecture, and even with a translator, it's obvious we're learning about the fundamentals.

m.

Don't worry, I'm still alive. Also, bureaucracy sucks here.

[Please note: this is not going to be pretty. In the end, I like Turkey more than it's going to sound.]

I think most of my current issues can be wrapped up in five words: I want to go home.

I miss green. I miss natural things.

I also miss intellectual stimulation. While three of my classes are interesting (Disaster, Istanbul Architecture, and Design Studio), they really don't require any work outside of class.

Well, that's not quite true--I have models to build in Design Studio, but that's just once a week.

Arts & Culture (when we have class) involves visiting places, which I like, but we don't go anywhere out of the ordinary. And Graphic Design is a joke. Midterms are this week, and we've had four classes. For one of those, the professor didn't show up so the TA taught (which was fine, since she's far better than the prof), and for another, the he decided that even though the entire class is international, he'd give the lecture in Turkish.

In addition, the Turkish government has decided to make some changes in the transportation, which seems to involve removing ticket booths from some (that's right, only some) MetroBus stops, meaning the only way to ride is if you have a card. Which I don't have.

Since there was no warning (Monday morning, the metal booth had vanished), I've had to depend on the kind people who do have passes, and have been trying to get my own.

I tried to go to the IETT office today to get it, but it...wasn't there. I searched the entire area. No luck.

I am not enthused. In fact, I'm quite pissed.

On a different note: pictures.

The first group is some of the cats that frequent our garden. I've become friends with many of them, and most have names.

The second is of St. Anthony of Padua Church, on Istikal cadessi.

m.

I saw 44 pairs of Converse on the bus today.

And that was the best part of my day.

My architecture courses:

Tuesday, 14,00 (that's 2:00): Disaster & House Design

Wednesday, 12,00: Urban & Architectural Development of Istanbul

Wednesday, 15,00: Design Concept Research in Architecture

Friday, 13,00: Computer Aided Presentation Techniques

Plus a Studio course. Since I'm not a traditional architecture student, Elif (my advisor) decided it would be better for me to take a Level I, which she hadn't looked at (time/day).

I should also note that the official Kültür architecture website has totally different times. The ones listed are those that were on my handwritten schedule from Elif.

Tuesday.

Arrive at 9, because that's when the website says the class starts.

I spent 15 minutes looking for the room (materials lab, basement 2). The woman at the front desk (who speaks next to no English) didn't know, so she called the International office. They couldn't tell me either, and said I should come up to the office.

I did.

I got a map.

I went to the room. It had "mimarl1k" ("architecture") and "2" on the door.

I went in.

Twenty-five minutes after the class began, the professor walked in (there isn't any of that "20 minutes, no prof, no class" here). She took one look at me and said "You know this class isn't in English, right?"

One of the students helped me find the room where the English architecture course was happening. The lecture was starting. In Turkish. I was then told that the English course started at 13.

All fine. A bit irritating, but it was all my fault.

The prof tells us that there are Turkish students that want to take the English version, but they have class at 13, so we'll start at 11:30. (Not important now, but just wait).

Wednesday.

Arrive at 12. Professor shows up and explains that, even though the lecture is supposed to start at 12, no self-respecting Turkish person eats lunch at any time other than 12, and can we start at 12:40?

Well, after waiting 4 hours on Tuesday, 40 minutes was no big deal.

While waiting, I emailed Elif about my Studio course. I can't find it online, and, after some of the disasters I've experienced and heard about, I figure it would just be better if she told me when things were.

Our Development prof asks us if we can switch the class to Friday mornings. Not a problem.

There is one other international student, Henrietta, in the class, from Sweden. She's very sweet, and is also in the Computer Techniques class.

She tells me it's been moved to Tuesday.

At noon.

Right after Development, I head over to my Design class. I'm 10 minutes late, and there's...no one there.

People show up late to class all the time, but there is no sign of life in this room. Or the hallway.

I walk over to Elif's office to talk to her. The other women there tell me she didn't come in today, don't know where she is or when she'll be back, and can't tell me anything about the Design class I'm supposed to be late for, but apparently am not.

I gave up and came home, counting Converse.

Five to two classes in one day.

If the only thing were that the profs changed the days and times (to a day/time that worked for people, and they found out by, oh, I don't know, asking), that would be different.

But what really pisses me off is that they change it all before the course starts and just expect their students to know. But now, I can't take Computer Techniques, and I didn't get any input. And I don't know when my Design class is to have any input.

I know for some people, it's not as big of a deal. They're not working towards a degree; these are all fun classes. But I need my courses. "Need" as in: if I can't pull this off, or something that kind-of-sort-of-maybe-in-an-alternate-reality works, I don't think I can graduate on time. I'm sure it will all work out (not on its own, though. I think extreme dentistry my be required on my part), but this is beyond the bounds of sanity. I mean, this is an [expletive] university.

m.

deneyimler

This is how I originally imagined Turkey:

-One week of Turkish classes. Become comfortable enough to converse basically with people.

-One week of orientation. Learn the city, and see all the cool places.

-Begin classes, probably six architecture courses and one history.

This is what actually happened.

-Attend Turkish class for two days. Learn we have class on Saturday.

-Attend Turkish class for another two days. Learn we have two, not one, weeks of Turkish class. Can say "They are not buying apples," but not "please" or "thank you."

-Finish two weeks of Turkish class. Can say "He will take his cat to Ismir on holiday," but not "please" or "thank you."

-Spent only an hour at the Grand Bazaar. The phrase I heard most from the group I was with was: "Oh. It all looks the same."

-Received my Turkish proficiency certificate the day classes began, before I had met with my advisor (and not because I didn't try) slash scheduled for classes. Actually, not really sure when clasess began.

-Met my advisor Wednesday (yesterday) and discussed classes. I received a handwritten, complete list of architecture courses in English. There were five. Even though it appeared classes had begun Monday, everything she said indicated they didn't start until next week. She wouldn't even give me a straight answer when I asked: "When do classes start? This week or next week?"

I then asked the head of the Exchange Program the same question. His answer: "Well, it depends on the department. Some start this week, others start next week."

While it's incredible--theoretically--being here, it's things like this that are driving me crazy. Yes, I understand it's an adventure, but this is a university, and the departments don't even communicate with each other when it comes to basic things like what courses are offered (that's another story entirely dealing with a different department and the official website that I don't want to touch at the moment). All in all, I have spent most of this week trying to not get too worked up over potentially missing classes (typical justification: I don't know (1) if they exist, (2) if I'm in them, (3) when they are, and (4) where they are).

m.