Today was Black Friday,

and I did the unthinkable: for the first time in my life, I left the house and went somewhere with shops.

But, seeing as how Black Friday doesn't really exist here, it didn't matter this much.

I got the information for a photo place from Anni, one of the other Erasmus students, which was the first thing in a long while that's gone the way I had hoped it would. I then continued on to the IETT office to stand around for two hours, waiting to get my card.

Well, I didn't have to stand around for two hours.

The machine that dispenses numbers was out of order, or they'd stopped giving out numbers for the day...considering my Turkish hasn't progressed past the terms I need on a day-to-day basis, I still have issues with, well, most written things. (I'd also like to add: I arrived at 12:30, the office closes at 4, and when I was there on Wednesday, there were people getting numbers at 1:30, so it's not like I got there abnormally late or anything.)

So I still don't have my transportation card. I'll be back Monday morning at 8 for a third time. I'd love to have someone to rail at, but since red tape doesn't have a face, I'm not entirely who should be taking the brunt of my pissed-offed-ness.

I know I keep saying "I want to go home," but after all of this, I'm starting (starting) to think that I may go back to Iowa next semester.

I haven't decided anything yet, though.

What's really making it difficult is how easy it was. If all that had happened was applying for the program and then coming here, it would be totally different.

But that's not what happened.

Turkey was my third choice to study abroad, and it was the one that fit best and the one I was most excited about. And then there was Selin, and then more connections (thanks to my aunt who knows everyone my other aunt won't meet), and it all was so clear that Istanbul was where I was supposed to be. I haven't gotten many neon signs from God, but this was one of them.

That's what's making it so hard. I never really considered spending only a semester here, for several reasons, but now I'm staring at the mark five weeks out (classes end in five weeks, and then there are another two of finals, which I can finagle if I need to), willing it to come sooner than humanly possible.

So there's the part of me that really, really, really wants to go home. But there's another part of me that's tempted to stay for another semester. Part of the problem that I'm running into is that I don't really know any of the other students. Yes, I know that's my fault, but what I didn't realize at the time was that the only time I'd have to get to know them was during the parties (when everyone was drinking) or the barhopping. I think that if I stayed for another semester, I'd be far more willing to go out barhopping, knowing that it would pay off in the end.

And if I ever manage to fight my way through all of this red tape (I think I may buy some red ribbon when I get home and burn it), I won't have to deal with it again.

But, on the other hand again, I don't want to put up with the classes here any more than I have to. It was highly enjoyable to have easy classes for the first month or so, but now I'm just bored. Courses (with the exception of Graphic design) are interesting while my butt's in the seat, but after that, there isn't anything, really, to think about. The only homework I ever get is in Studio Design--a model a week--which I like, and the professors' comments are interesting and make me think, but the models only take me an evening to make, and I feel like I have to do all of the pushing myself. I try to come up with something interesting, that fits the criteria, and that I like, and with those three (rather simple) things, I have models that are near the top of the heap. Well, except for the time I completely missed the point of the assignment, but I'm pretty sure that was a translation problem. It's like almost no one in the class (they're all first years) is really interested in what's being said.

Normally, I'd have more patience with that kind of thing, but since Turkey works the same way most European schools do, which means all 50-ish of those students decided to study architecture, and even with a translator, it's obvious we're learning about the fundamentals.

m.